isn’t it time?
“… Sitting here all alone, just trying to decide whether to go all alone or stay by your side. Then I stop myself because I know I could cry. I just can't find the answers to the questions that keep going through my mind. Hey babe, isn't it time?”
The Babys smash hit from 1977 sums up a lot of the footballing fraternity this week. Catters gun Tom Stewart and Lion Jarrod Berry have unfortunately been ruled out of the 2025 AFL Grand Final due to sustaining injuries in the Preliminary Finals last week. Stewart entered the AFL’s 12-day Concussion Protocol and Berry’s dislocated shoulder ruled both players out. One of them will definitely join the long line of players who have missed the deciding game due to injury and their team won the flag. Last year, it was Oscar McInerney who was the unlucky one to miss out due to a shoulder injury. The year before, Collingwood Magpie Dan McStay was also injured and was replaced for the GF. It would be remiss of me not to mention the heartbreak of Max Holmes missing out in 2022 due to an injury too! The most famous in recent history was that of Western Bulldogs’ stalwart and Captain Bob Murphy missing the 2016 Grand Final versus the Paddington Bloods due to a season ending injury. The iconic moment of Bulldogs coach Luke Beveridge handing over his winner’s medallion to Bob was one for the ages. As you can see, this is a regular occurrence this time of the year. As my wonderful Year 11 English teacher Mr. Paul Ryan use to say, “I’m only just scratching the surface!” There would be dozen more examples of someone either injured, suspended or omitted from the final squad and missed their chance of being a part of history. Derek Kickett’s omission in the 1993 AFL decider immediately springs to mind. So, my friends, is it time for the AFL to bring in a system where you can play a certain number of games during the Home and Away season to become eligible to receive the winner’s medallion or ring? And if so, how many games is enough?
The English Premier League has a requirement that a player must make 10 appearances, which includes substitutions, during the season to qualify for the winner’s medal at the end of the season. Taking this to account, there are 38 matches in their regular season which means the players must play just over a quarter of these (26.3% of the season’s fixtures.) To make an AFL Grand Final, your team plays a total of either 26 or 27 games depending on your route to the GF. Keeping in line with the Premier League’s 26.3% qualification ratio, a player would be required to play a meagre 7 matches through the entire season. Now I’m not suggesting that is enough by any stretch of the imagination but surely there should be a number of games that is a benchmark moving forwards?! What’s the magic number you ask? Well, if it was up to me, I’d would suggest that two-thirds of the season would be more than enough to show how important the player’s contributions were throughout the season. This equates to 18 games in total. 18 games where your positive impact translated to the team’s grand final success. I hope that the AFL sees the light and introduces something to ensure that injured players still receive the spoils that they richly deserve.
The question on everyone’s lips is who will win between Geelong and Brisbane? I think it will be a closer contest than the fortnight prior, but the result will be the same. The way that Patrick Dangerfield willed himself into every contest against the Hawks was truly awe inspiring. He turned back the clock and produced a monstrous performance at the ripe age of 35. He has a game remotely similar in the decider; he will add to amazing achievements to his already impressive CV. Premiership winning captain and Norm Smith Medallist. Jeremy Cameron will look to stamp his authority as the competition’s premier key forward. He was somewhat quiet in the 2022 grand final victory against the Paddington Bloods and he will be motivated to produce a match winning performance for The Pivotonians. The Brisbane Lions will have to be the first team since Richmond Tigers in the Covid-19 affected season to lose a qualifying final and go on to win the grand final the long way around. Will selecting an underdone Lachie Neale backfire? Will the small forwards of the Lions be too much to handle for a Cats back six without the injured Tom Stewart marshalling the troops? Hugh McCluggage was well held by the Irish Glove Oisin Mullin last time these two teams met. Hugh the Jet will want to prove a point with a blistering display this time around. Whatever happens, let’s hope the contest is one for the history books and not the recent blow outs we’ve seen in the 2019, 2021, 2022 and 2024 editions.
Geelong Cats by 14 points, with Patrick Dangerfield as my Norm Smith Medal winner.
I’ve had the pleasure of meeting both these fine men. Both are premiership winners and sadly, neither will add to their tally regardless of the result. This is a situation that needs rectifying by the AFL sooner rather than later. Isn’t it time?
When four become two!
“cOME A LITTLE BIT CLOSER BABY, GET IT ON. GET IT ON. ‘COS THIS WEEKEND, IS THE WEEKEND, WHEN FOUR BECOME TWO! i NEED SOME LUCK LIKE i’VE NEVER NEEDED LUCK BEFORE. gONNA PRAY TO THE FOOTY GODS BABY! MY TEAM HAS LOST BEFORE, AND I’M BACK FOR MORE. GONNA PRAY TO THE FOOTY GODS BABY. Footy gods be kind to me. it’s the only way to be!”
Did The Spice Girls have a hidden meaning to their 1996 smash hit 2 Become 1 all this time? Was Uncle Oyster the first to unlock its ode to Preliminary Final footy? I doubt it, but the song still rings true to many a football fan when the penultimate games of the season are played. The entire season’s successes and failures hinge on a birth in the 2025 AFL Grand Final. For these four surviving teams, there’s one more push for the chance to play at the MCG on the last Saturday of September. For the two unlucky sides who were unsuccessful, a Mad Monday beckons and tales of what could’ve been shall flow forth much like the liquid amber been consumed as part their mourning process.
So, who will win Friday night? Well, as a diehard Cats fan, this is a tricky question to answer because my head is saying one thing, but my head is saying another. Geelong should beat Hawthorn Friday night but momentum is a funny thing in footy. The Hawks impressive September run has seen them win in interstate contests against The Inner Western Sydney and Canberra Giants and the Adelaide Crom. The Mayblooms are fearing nobody on their march towards their first grand final since complete their hattrick in 2015. Jack Gunston has been kicking goals for fun this finals series and The Wizard Nick Watson threatens to be the gamebreaker, that may be the difference. Throw in Mabior Chol and Josh Weddle into the mix, and the back six of Geelong will have their hands full.
The Pivotonians were too classy for the Woolloongabba Bears in their 38 point win a fortnight ago. For Geelong to win, Jeremy Cameron will need some support in kicking a winning score. Is this the game where Baby Behemoth Shannon Neale stamps his authority on the contest? Will the Irish Enforcers Oisin Mullin and Mark O’Connor work in tandem harmoniously to nullify the Poos and Wees’ ball magnet Jai Newcombe?Ultimately, I think the Cats will in a tight contest, with the lesser-known Catters in Shaun Mannagh and Tom Atkins playing out of their skins. Geelong Cats by 14 points (hopefully!)
Collingwood host the Woolloongabba Bears in the other Preliminary Final at the same venue a day later. Both teams will already know their opponent before the bounce. Will be an extra motivating factor? Absolutely! The Pies beat the Lions in the decider in 2023 and I’m sure that’ll be spoken about by both Craig McRea and Chris Fagan in their final words to the players. Collingwood has decided not to bring in the Norm Smith Medallist Bobby Hill in their final 23-man squad for the game. There must’ve been serious discussions with the coaching panel within the four walls of AIA Centre in Olympic Park about his possible inclusion. He is a match winner. Will the rue this decision? Time will tell. As for the Woolloongabba Bears, they still need to cover the gaping hole of Lachie Neale’s absence in the midfield. The dual Brownlow Medallist apparently will be ready for a miraculous return come grand final day if they beat The Pies. Who wins you ask? I hope The Pies win, but I think the Lions will just pip them. If the Daicos Brothers run amok and Jamie Elliott kicks 4 goals, the Pies win. If the Lions small forward squadron of Rayner, Lohmann, Bailey and Ah Chee dominate, the Lions will make their third successive decider. As for that seagull Charlie Cameron, who knows which version of himself will appear Saturday night. He has had zero impact in the two finals thus far and I expect that to continue. I still think that the Woolloongabba Bears to repeat their Round 21 win at the MCG by a similar margin of 27 points.
The joys of being a Cats fan when they’ve qualified for another Preliminary Final! Their 14th appearance in the past 19 years. During the time, The Cats have won 4 Premierships. As The Divinyls once sung, It’s a fine line between pleasure and pain. I’m hoping that the Footy Gods are kind tonight!
Images courtesy of Fox Footy
oyster the oracle’s 2025 afl finals predictions
First things first, I can’t believe we’re on the eve of another footy final series! The 2025 AFL has been one for the history books with the Carrara Suns finally securing their first every foray into September action. The Matthew Nicks coached Adelaide Crows finished the season as Minor Premiers and are back in the finals mix since losing heavily to a Richmond Tigers team at the start of their impressive three flags in four seasons. Having two home finals is a massive advantage for The Crom and should see them contest the decider at the MCG is a mere four weeks’ time.
So Oyster the Oracle, who will meet them in the Grand Final decider you ask? After gazing deeply into my crystal ball, I have seen into the future as I have the results! No, I did not have access to the Grays Sports Almanac like Biff Tannen did in Back to the Future 2. I’ve used my cunning, nous and impeccable sporting knowledge to help guide me to the light.
The Premiers of 2025 will be whomever wins the Friday night Qualifying Final between The Pivotonians and The Woolloongabba Gorillas. Isn’t that sitting on the fence? Well, let me explain why!
Brisbane Lions should win again in 2025 but if Geelong Cats manage to score the upset victory at the MCG, the Brisbane Lions will play the Crows in a Preliminary Final at the Adelaide Oval. I can’t see the Cats or Lions winning in Adelaide if they lose that first week in the finals. However, whomever is successful will beat Adelaide in the Grand Final.
Am I dismissing the chances of Collingwood, The Inner Western Sydney and Canberra Giants, Flagmantle Dockers, Carrara Suns and The Poos and Wees? Absolutely! But I don’t think they’ll have a chance to make it through to the Big Dance come that last Saturday in September. If I am wrong, I will eat my words, but you read it here first folks!
So, here’s a quick snapshot of the Week 1 matches!
Adelaide defeats Collingwood
Geelong (hopefully) defeats Brisbane
Fremantle defeats Gold Coast
Hawthorn defeats GWS
My crystal ball has told me that Hawthorn will surprise many and win convincingly over the Inner Western Sydney and Canberra Giants. The Pivotonians will get the chocolates over the Woolloongabba Gorillas purely through a mercurial Jeremy Cameron masterclass. Freo’s young guns will get the job done against the Carrara Suns while the home ground advantage for The Crom and a bag of goals for Riley Thilthorpe will see off the Pies.
How good is Finals Footy! Well, until your teams loses and it ruins your night, day, weekend, week, month, year, life etc!
Good luck to every footy fan this week! May the Footy Gods be ever in your favour!
P.S: CARN THE PIVS!
P.P.S: Here’s an AI generated photo of me praying to the Footy Gods to be kind this season. I know it’s a lot to ask for but we can all live in hope can’t we?
P.P.P.S: Paddington Bloods not making the finals this season will be just as satisfying as The Pivs winning the GF!
ONE AND DONE?!
“The word is about, there's something evolving. Whatever may come, the world keeps revolving. They say the next big thing is here. That the revolution's near but to me it seems quite clear. That it's all just a little bit of history repeating.”
The Propellerheads’ 1998 hit History Repeating has so eloquently explained the new catchphrase creeping into the AFL’s vernacular, One and Done. This term describes how teams are finding it increasingly difficult to win back to back premierships. The One and Done phenomenon has cruelly taken another victim. Collingwood Magpies did not defend their crown as Premiers in 2024. The Pies’ slow start to the season meant that they were behind the 8-ball from the get go. A 9th placed finish extended the One and Done curse for another season, much to the delight of every footy fan who wasn’t a Pies supporter.
The Geelong Cats were the outliers to the One and Done phenomenon due to their ageing list and winning the premiership in 2022 much to the surprise of most footballing experts. With the upcoming arrival of Bailey Smith from the Western Bulldogs and the retirements of Tom Hawkins and Zac Tuohy, who knows how The Pivotonians 2025 season will pan out. Uncle Oyster is praying to the footballing gods for one more grand final push before the eventual retirement of #35.
The Melbourne Demons felt the wrath of One and Done with consecutive straight sets losses in consecutive finals campaigns in 2022 and 2023! The experts were spruiking about a Demons Dynasty for years to come. How the mighty have fallen. The Dees didn’t even make the Top 8 in 2024! The injury to superstar Christian Petracca was too significant a loss to cover. Even with a squad the envy of most rival clubs, the fall from grace for the Red and the Blue was spectacular!
Similar talk was bandied about after The Western Bulldogs 2016 triumph against the Sydney Swans. 8 years later, the hangover from their 2021 second half Grand Final capitulation is still lurking in the shadows down at Whitten Oval. Will inspirational leader Marcus Bontempelli once again lead them to premiership glory? Unlikely. The West Coast Eagles’ 2018 Premiership win at the death against Collingwood also brought false hopes of reigniting another period of domination. Time will tell if the Eagles’ will rise from the ashes and once again be a footballing powerhouse. Harley Reid’s rookie season was reminiscent of the great Chris Judd’s back in 2002. If he is half the player Chris Judd was, the future's looking bright.
The Brisbane Lions had arguably the greatest four week finals run winning elimination matches against Carlton, GWS, Geelong and Sydney to win the 2024 Grand Final. Three of these were away matches at Sydney Showground and the Colosseum of Melbourne. It was a well deserved premiership win after losing a heartbreaking grand final the year before. Chris Pagan orchestrated the Lions first premiership win since their three-peat ended 20 years previously. It’ll be interesting to see how the Woolloongabba Gorillas defend their crown in 2025 but with the young guns at their disposal, is it too soon to mention the possibilities of a dominating dynasty for years to come? It’s quite scary to think that reigning Norm Smith Medallist is only 20 years old! Kai Lohmann’s finals series was exceptional considering he is only 21 and about 30 games into his career. 19 year old Logan Morris is the likely candidate to take over from the retiring Smoking Joe Daniher as the key target up forward. The future is looking extremely bright for the Lions.
So the question lies, will the Brisbane Lions continue their reign of terror or will they be another victim of the One and Done club? Time will tell! Whatever happens, there’s no doubt that Lachie Neale will continue to be the umpire’s special pet, and give him Brownlow Medal votes that he does not deserve. Uncle Oyster guarantees it!
The South Melbourne Bloods vs Fitzroy Gorillas 2024 AFL GRAND FINAL
So, who will win?
Well readers, we've finally reached the last Saturday in September. The pride of the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney, The Paddington Bloods will clash against the Woolloongabba Bears in an enthralling contest featuring the last two runners-up.
The Swans were the best team all year and look to win their first premiership since defeating the Hawks in 2012. Isaac Heeney's 2024 finals campaign has been amazing and looms as a favourite for the Norm Smith Medal. If Isaac has a blinder, the Swans will win comfortably. 5'11 seagull Tom Papley is the team's barometer. If Tom kicks three goals, the Swans are on the path to premiership glory.
The Lions look to seek redemption after last year's heartbreaking loss to Collingwood. The Brisbane Lions look to win their first premiership since 2003, which was the club third consecutive premiership under Lethal Leigh Matthews. The Brisbane Lions has won three sudden death games against the Blues, Giants and Cats to make the GF. It has been an incredible run where they have overcome deficits to secure their play in the decider. Cam Rayner is the match winner for the Lions. Lachie Neale will need to stand up in the clinches to increase the Lions chances of winning. Which Joe Daniher will turn up on grand final day?
I do think the Sydney Swans will win in a close contest by less than 3 goals. Isaac Heeney will win the Norm Smith Medal in a dominant display. For the Lions, the 2024 will end in more heartache.
